Parents

I am cleaning out my computer and came across these writings I did about my parents. With my son just graduating I thought I would share them both. I will come back later with a story of his graduation and pictures.

About my father:

He was larger than life to this small girl
Looking to the heaven of his eyes
Taking his hand letting him lead her to play
His voice shook fear through his bones
His love was always giving
Darkness shrouds the bad
Lighting the good that was always there
Watching him tenderly kiss mother
Slapping her behind just to hear her giggle
Love abound in them
Lesson taught to her young soul
One day the light went out in mother’s eyes
Memories of those around her could not be found
He slipped farther into the abyss
He stood by her side nursing her hoping for a glimpse of her former self
The teen-age girl watched love in a different shade
Unconditionally he believed she would come back from the darkness
Angry rises to the top
Angry for the life they would not get to enjoy
God took her memories and left only her soul in a shell
The teen-ager became the whipping post
The release of rage that seethed
Herself angry at the tragic events
Watching helpless at what they reaped
Growing older taking responsibility for their care
Loving them as she was love before
Holding in her arms the once large man
As tears flowed for what was handed to him
One morning in the presence of the grown girl
She took her last breath smile on her face meet those she loved most
Her memories where now found
The large man was lost without her by his side
He tried to live life in the presence of the ghost
But the cold of his heart could not be warmed
Years later alone in his room
His visitor came to take his hand
To dance with him on the clouds of silver
Touching again warming his soul
The large man found his home.

About the Parent Fairies:

Sitting in the darkness of the still night I have time to reflect. When did we grow to be our parents, did one day during the night the parent fairy come into our room bop us on the head? Like the tooth fairy instead of leaving us money she leaves us wisdom, heartache and a thirst for prunes. I guess I saw the signs early on when my then 8 year old son drove me to spout one of my father’s favorite saying “Do you want me to give you something to cry about” it was in mid sentence as the words flowed that I had my first parent coronary. Thank god for Grey Goose and orange juice to revive me. It was like the light from Men in Black it was erased from memory.

Being a single parent raising a carbon copy of myself was my father’s greatest joke. As a teen-ager he would yell, “I hope one day you have a child just like you.” Now he never hoped I would be a single mother, but having my twin was a treat. I was always at odds with my father he challenged me in many ways, but he also had a dark side to him and his wrath was to be feared. It was later as he grew sicker that I learned the most about a parents love its heartache wondering if I did the right thing raising my children, its joy in the newness of the world to their eyes and the letting go praying that they do right in the world. I just wished I had told him how much I learned from him while he was still here.

It was late one night when the parent fairy popped me on the head. With it came the wisdom showing me the light that being a parent does not come with a manual. Mistakes, missteps are inevitable, argument will be had and words exchanged sometimes even hate will seethe from them. Raising my son is like a trial and I am the judge, jury and defense attorney. I listen as he pleads his case one misstep and I object, he puts on his witness and we go around until a verdict is rendered. Though he is not as wild as I was as a teen-ager he is a constant challenge to my patience, pocket book and sanity. Then on more then one occasion he amazes me with his views of life, making me see things in a different light challenging me to see more clearly. It is through his eyes I see my parents and the lasting impress they left on my character. Now I look at each gray hair not as a sign of growing older, but as a loving kiss from my parents, binding me closer to them in spirit a permanent love letter. Thank you mom and dad you raised me right. So I look to the night silent sky searching for the brightest star blowing a kiss to them both.

Comments

Hello Shean...your poem left a great lump in my throat and wells in my eyes. This post touched my soul.

I'm a noob parent (16 months old) and often catch myself doing/thinking something that my own mother did/said. And then I recoil in horror, and then realization hits me like a flashlight shining in my face, of all that my mother put up with to raise me.

I think I will always be a noob parent no matter how many I children have.

...and thank you for visiting my blog :)

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